Sunday, October 4, 2015

Jeb Happens!


I take it back. Jeb really isn't the smart one in the Bush family. Turns out he's actually dumber than his brother George. And that's saying something given what Dubya put the country through for eight years in the Oval Office.

In a recent interview, Jeb said of the deadly shooting in Oregon, "Stuff happens." That's right, kids. The man who would be the trifecta in Bush presidencies actually reduced this tragedy to a bumper sticker. This guy isn't low energy; he's low I.Q.  Oh he did his best to clarify his remarks later by insisting he wasn't referring to the Oregon massacre.  Unfortunately for dear old Jeb, nobody was buying it.

The remarks came just days after Bush, who apparently didn't pay much attention to the 2012 election, pulled a Mitt Romney by saying he didn't want to give "free stuff" to minorities. Though to be fair to Jeb, this is a popular meme within the GOP. It seems they have convinced themselves that the only reason blacks and Hispanics don't vote Republican is because Democrats keep giving them freebees. Right, and enacting voter suppression laws and calling Mexicans rapists have nothing to do with it.

Even when Jeb actually makes a salient point, he still ends up sticking his foot in his mouth. At that very same "stuff happens" interview, he said, "A child drowns in a pool and the impulse is to pass a law that puts fencing around pools. Well it may not change it."  While governor of Florida, Bush signed a law that required pool owners to do just that. Oh, well.

And then there was that Fox News' interview with Megyn Kelly where she asked him if he would still have invaded Iraq based on what we now know. That was Jeb's moment to distinguish himself from his brother and tell the country he was different. But like a moth drawn to a flame, he couldn't resist and actually said yes, he would've invaded. Jesus, how many mulligans can one guy get?

From day one, we were fed this line over and over again. Jeb Bush wasn't his brother. He was thoughtful, intelligent and transformative. He was the only establishment candidate who could beat Hillary. And, best of all, he was willing to lose the primary in order to win the general.

So far, only the last claim has proven to be true. Jeb's poll numbers are so low, his financial backers are threatening to bail on him. At this point in the campaign, Mike Huckabee has a better shot at capturing the Republican nomination than Bush.

Funny isn't it. Two years ago, Barbara Bush was asked about whether her youngest son should run for president. She replied no. "We've had enough Bushes." Based on Jeb's performance over the last few months, I would say momma Bush has nothing to worry about. Her son should be home for Thanksgiving dinner next year.

Without the secret service detail, that is.

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