To paraphrase Richard Milhous Nixon, let me make a few things perfectly clear:
1. Global warming isn't a hoax; it's real. Just like 2 + 2 = 4.
2. Benghazi isn't Watergate; Watergate is Watergate.
3. Creationism isn't an alternative to evolution; it's an alternative to reality.
4. The I.R.S. wasn't conspiring against conservatives; it was trying to determine whether 401c groups were what they said they were.
5. The deficit is shrinking, not growing.
6. If Obama came out against rainy days, the GOP would accuse him of being pro drought.
7. Obamacare isn't going to be repealed; it's here to stay.
8. Believing everyone in the main-stream media is against you, doesn't makes you fair and balanced; it makes you paranoid.
9. Pandering to an ever-decreasing voter demographic isn't a very good long-term strategy for electoral success.
10. Making racist comments about minorities and passing strict voter suppression laws that restrict their right to vote, is a pretty good way to ensure they will vote for the other party.
11. Both Reagan and Bush issued far more executive orders than Obama has.
12. Vladimir Putin could care less who the president is; he's just a thug who thinks it's okay to invade other countries, just like he did when Bush was in the White House.
13. Any fool can start a land war, or two; the real challenge is to NOT start one.
14. Criticizing Obama for doing something two Republican presidents before him did - swapping prisoners - is pretty lame, even for conservatives.
15. The Second Amendment doesn't give you the right to turn the country into the OK Corral.
16. Hillary Clinton's health is just fine, Karl Rove. And in 2016 you'll get a chance to see just how healthy she really is.
17. And, for the last time, there's no voter fraud. Romney got beat fair and square. Deal with it.
There, I hope that settles that.