Thursday, May 31, 2012

Idiots' Delight

This month, it’s a five-way tie for first place.  After racking my brains out I finally decided that any meaningful differences between the “nominees” just wasn’t worth parsing out, so I thought I’d go in alphabetical order and let the chips fall where they may.  Fair warning, both Left and Right are getting it this month, so hold your noses and get set to swallow some medicine.

Joe Biden for outing the President on gay marriage.  Old motor mouth was at it again.  The gift that keeps on giving just couldn’t help himself the other week on Meet the Press.  Okay, I get it.  It was hardly a secret that Obama was in favor of gay marriage – evolving my ass.  And I understand that the Republican Party as a whole is on the wrong side of history with respect to this issue.  That’s not the point.  With less than six months to go before a general election, and with one of the largest swing states having just passed an anti-gay marriage law, you don’t harpoon your boss on national television.  Period!
While progressives applauded Biden’s moment of clarity and welcomed Obama’s long-overdue concurrence, the simple fact of the matter is that, electorally speaking, this little stunt by the VP could well end up costing Democrats the White House in November, not to mention a senate seat or two.  It isn’t just social conservatives who are frothing at the mouth at their recent good fortune.  The simple truth is that once you step outside of the Northeast and West coast, the issue of gay marriage is at best a toss-up, at worst not well received by a plurality of voters.  In what promises to be an extremely tight election, where some states could be decided by as little as a single percentage point, it is the height of arrogance and stupidity to risk alienating even one voter.

One of the best wedge issues the Obama Administration has going for it this fall is the fact that the other side is filled with extremists.  Independents typically shy away from such elements.  Thanks to Joe Biden, those same extremists will now attempt to turn the tables and paint the President as the extremist.  Obama’s the president who wants your son and daughter to be taught by a homosexual teacher.  That’s what they’ll say both privately and now publicly to as many undecided voters as possible.  They don’t have to turn them all, just enough to win.

For his next trick, Smokin’ Joe will go on Face the Nation and announce he’s for legalized pot.  What harm could that do?

The Catholic Church for their war on the Girl Scouts of America.  They’ve been pretty busy over there at the Vatican, what with dealing with sex abuse scandals and declining membership – particularly in America – so naturally the Catholic Church needed to launch another offensive in its all-out assault on common sense and decency to try and alienate the last of its disillusioned flock.  If you thought the whining about contraception was contrived – and it is – this one will knock you off your feet.  The Church has its tassels all in an uproar over the Girl Scouts America.  Their crime?  They’ve been associating with the wrong people, it seems.

According to a story in The Huffington Post, the Girl Scouts of America have had the audacity of “accepting into a Colorado troop a 7-year-old transgender child who was born a boy but was being raised as a girl.” As if that wasn’t enough red meat for the bishops to chew on, there’s the never ending – and baseless – charge that there is a connection between the Girl Scouts and Planned Parenthood.  And, from the sublime to the ridiculous, there’s always that nasty “L” word.  Seems there are way too many liberals within its ranks for the Church’s tastes.

Actually, as sad as this might seem, this war is nothing new, according to the Huff-Po piece.  The Girl Scouts have been on the radar of social conservatives ever since the 1970s when feminism began to seep its way into its ranks.  It seems teaching young women to be empowered and able to lead successful lives on their own runs counter to the dogma that Rome has been peddling for centuries.

You’d think an organization that portends to know a thing or two about charity and loving your enemy and tending to the needy would be embarrassed to pick a fight with little girls, but then the Church has seen fit to harbor pedophiles, so go figure.

Here’s a suggestion for the Vatican: You want to really rescue the Girl Scouts of America?  Do something about those terrible cookies.  Otherwise pick on someone your own size.  I grew up reading the story about David and Goliath.  I just never thought I’d live to see the day when the Church became the latter.

MSNBC and the Left for piling on Mitt Romney for bullying a gay kid when he was in high school.  There are a variety of reasons not to vote for Mitt Romney.  No soul, no spine, no principles, no values, wrong positions, etc… One of them is most assuredly not that as a teenager he bullied a gay kid. Yes, it was stupid.  If I had a dollar for every stupid thing I did between the ages of twelve and eighteen I could take my whole department out to lunch at one of the best restaurants in Manhattan.  For the record, there are more than fifty people in my department, so that’s a lot of mistakes.

The Left needs to know how and when to pick a fight. The Romney bashing, as it pertains to this particular topic, is not only ineffective; it makes the whole damn movement seem petty.  Yes, bullying, especially gays, is a serious problem that has led to serious consequences, and the sooner we as a society move away from it the healthier all of us will be.  But to conclude that what someone did when he was a teenager allows us to “extrapolate” how he might feel as a sixty year-old man is reaching to say the least, and makes about as much sense as the Right going after Obama because he smoked pot when he was a high school student.

This is the kind of shit that turns voters off, especially independent voters.  I hate to keep harping on it, but there’s this little thing that happens every four years.  Maybe you’ve heard about it.  It’s called a general election and I would really like to win it if that’s alright with you.  So, I’m begging you, Rachel, Chris, Ed and all the rest of you out there in Lib Land, give it a rest. Let’s keep it simple.  Try and find some dirt on Romney that doesn’t date back to his pimple days.

Bristol Palin for her critical comments after Obama came out in support of gay marriage.  So let me see if I get this straight.  The woman who had a kid out of wedlock is preaching to the President about morality?


I know the air gets a little thin up there in Alaska, or whatever planet Bristol Palin must be living on, but for a supposed Christian not to know by heart the famous Bible verse, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” only confirms what everyone has known for quite some time: that she’s as clueless as her mother.  In fact, she’s the spittin’ image of her, right down to that deer in a headlight, know nothing stare.  Boy, the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it?

Ann Romney for milking the stay at home mommy bit.  Memo to Ann Romney:  I’m sure you’re a good mother and you worked your butt off setting a good example for your kids, while old Mitt went off and “earned” all those millions. And I’m equally sure you will make a much better wife on the campaign trail than Tipper was for Al Gore.

So, please, now that you’ve made it abundantly clear to everyone in the universe that motherhood is THE TOUGHEST JOB IN THE WHOLE-WIDE WORLD, it’s time to give it a rest.  The only reason you had your five minutes of fame – which you proceeded to turn into an hour and a half – is because Hilary Rosen had her head so far up her ass she could’ve given herself a tonsillectomy.

You’ve had your fun and now it’s time for your husband and Michelle Obama’s husband to present their case to the American people.  On behalf of all the sons out there, a belated Happy Mother’s Day.

Okay? Are we done now?


1 comment:

steve said...

Thanks, Pete. I would disagree with you though about the Romney gay-bullying issue. This was not just a stupid act, like tossing a cherry bomb down the girl's loo. What is most troubling is his dismissive response when confronted with his past actions. That shows not only a lack of remorse, not to mention political foresight, but, more seriously, a lack of conscience and compassionate humanity. Bullying is a massive problem in this country, as you know, and it would have been a perfect time for him to really apologize in a statesmanlike way and make this into a teachable moment for America. Instead, he revealed himself to be the same spoiled, rich kid asshole he was in prepschool, one who has no conception what it's like to be poor, weak, or downtrodden, and who believes that wealth earns him the right to step on others.