Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Clueless in America

With the election now less than two weeks away, it’s time to resurrect an old dear friend: my monthly excursion into the annals of stupidity. Formerly titled, “Shame on You” and “WTF” I struggled to find just the right new name for the feature. And given the plethora of Tea Party and Republican candidates who seem all too willing to disgrace themselves, clueless seemed appropriate.

As was the case in past months, only three winners were chosen, though I easily could’ve included two or three more. As a good friend of mine has said on more than one occasion: so many to choose from, so little space.

The envelope please,

First place goes to Michele Bachmann: The Minnesota Congresswoman, for whom the term bat-s**t crazy was invented, never ceases to amaze. Each time you think she’s reached her zenith in stupidity, she hits a new high (or low) and outdoes even herself. Her latest interview with World Net Daily was classic space cadet.

Q: If you could sit down to dinner with any eight people who ever lived, and they could all, for this one occasion, speak English, who would be on your guest list?

A: Jesus; George Washington; Adam, the first man; the apostle John; Johann Sebastian Bach; Ann Coulter; Ronald Reagan; and Mark Levin. It would be a very interesting combination!

Q: If, with a snap of your fingers, you could change anything about America, what would it be?

A: Reduce the federal government to its original size and constitutional limitations and to restore the 9th and 10th Amendments.

Now let’s forget for a moment the eclectic mix of dinner guests, or the fact that Jesus would probably turn down the invite, it’s the second question that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt just how completely clueless Bachmann and many other conservatives are regarding American constitutional history.

Apparently Bachmann doesn’t understand that a return of the federal government to its original size would not only preclude the 9th and 10th Amendments, it would preclude the entire Bill of Rights. It would also prohibit women from voting – not to mention serving in government – as well as sanctioning slavery. The limitations she speaks of would eliminate much of the protections she and her army of mental defectives take for granted.

And speaking of mental defectives, the second place award goes to Sarah Palin wannabe, Christine O’Donnell. Her past experiments with witchcraft and her stance on masturbation have garnered her much attention and undeservedly so. To be frank, I could care less what she did when she was a teenager, or that she has strong opinions on the effects of self-stimulation. What is alarming is her failure to grasp even a basic understanding of the Constitution. Her debate with Democratic nominee Chris Coons was an embarrassment.

Trying desperately to defend the right of conservative Christians to have creationism taught in public schools, O’Donnell was completely ignorant of the fact that the First Amendment expressly prohibits the teaching of religious doctrines. When Coons attempted to point out that “one of those indispensable principles is the separation of church and state,” O’Donnell demanded, “Where in the Constitution is separation of church and state?”

After the crowd finished laughing its head off, Coons went on to recite the Establishment Clause of the Amendment: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

That still wasn’t enough for Mini Me, who then proceeded to dig herself in deeper. “So you’re telling me the phrase, ‘the separation of church and state,’ is found in the Constitution.” Well, the phrase may not be, but the meaning was quite clear, and if anyone needed any further clarification, Thomas Jefferson provided it in 1802 when he used the metaphor to explain the Framer’s intent, and the Courts have followed it ever since. Anyone with access to a computer and Wikipedia could’ve looked it up.

In her defense, O’Donnell said, “I didn’t bring my Constitution with me.” Nor apparently her brains.

And bringing up the rear, Sharon Angle. If you needed any further proof that the Tea Party is loaded with xenophobes you needn’t look any further that Angle’s latest faux pas in which she addressed a group of Hispanic high school students by saying, “I don’t know that all of you are Latino. Some of you look a little more Asian to me. I don’t know that.” As if that wasn’t bad enough, she added insult to injury by saying she had been accused of being “the first Asian legislator in our Nevada State Assembly.”


Yep, you heard that right folks. Don’t like illegal immigration laws? Have a beef with racial profiling? Had enough with sanctimonious politicians who play to stereotypical fears within white America? Tough tamales. You Latinos got nothing to complain about. Sharon Angle feels your pain and has walked your walk. After all, she was once called Asian. What more do you want?

Not content with just smearing her fellow citizens, Angle dragged our northern neighbors into the mix, by implying that terrorists were coming in across the Canadian border; a ridiculous charge that only an idiot would make.  I still can't believe that Harry Reid is in danger of losing to this ding bat.

Lady you are one piece of work.

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